


what could have been

by zzleepy



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, Sad, Short Drabble, Unrequited Love, im sorry, lapslock, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:54:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23292787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzleepy/pseuds/zzleepy
Summary: san has learned that maybe loving wooyoung meant having nothing more than this. maybe this was all there is to love— a thousand unspoken feelings and one, lonely heart.
Relationships: Choi San & Jung Wooyoung, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Kudos: 34
Collections: lost love letters





	what could have been

**Author's Note:**

> just some short sad woosan drabble, i felt sad and i needed to get it out lmao. 
> 
> enjoy :)

  
  
  
  
  
  


san watches wooyoung, moving like flowing water and falling leaves. he dances like the song fills his body, like his every step tells a story. his hands flow along with the melody, gentle and intricate, carefully placed on every beat of the song that echoed in the room. 

when wooyoung finishes, san hides his deep affection under casual compliments and hearty jokes, swallowing the words that threatened to leave his mouth. he kept it light, earning bright smiles and pleasant laughter from wooyoung. _stop it, you’re embarrassing me,_ he says, blushing visibly even as he hides his face in his palms. san offers him a bottle of water and wooyoung chugs down half of it, leaving the rest for san to drink; a routine they practice, an unspoken promise. 

wooyoung drops himself on the floor and leans his back against the cold mirror, sitting next to san. he lets his tired head fall on san’s shoulder, heaving out a deep sigh. wooyoung closes his eyes, body tired and shoulders slumped. he lets the coldness of the night soothe his skin and he hums out a song, voice ragged yet soft; the peaceful melody of wooyoung’s favorite tune, as if he’s calming a storm, mending a broken heart. he sings the lyrics to the air and san could feel every bit of wooyoung’s closeness next to him; his breath warm against san’s shoulder, his voice small and delicate. 

wooyoung soon plops his head down san’s lap and continues to sing, eyes remaining closed and chest slowly pumping in and out. the night was quiet and only his voice could be heard, along with the silence of a thousand words san has chosen not to say. he instead joins, singing along to wooyoung’s tune. wooyoung doesn’t open his eyes, but he smiles ever so _beautifully,_ and san could almost feel the world stop. nothing else seemed to matter; wooyoung looked impossibly endearing that he couldn’t help but silence the song into a kiss. 

san slides his legs out from under wooyoung’s head and hovers above him, pressing his lips against wooyoung’s ever so gently, yet visibly needy. heat diffuses between them, feelings already being told through the kiss. it tasted sweet, the scent of wooyoung’s cherry lip gloss still lingering in the little space between them. wooyoung seemed startled, opening his eyes for a brief second before continuing to pull san in for a deeper kiss. san smiles into it every so often, unable to contain the raw happiness pooling inside his heart. wooyoung threads his fingers along san’s hair, gently caressing them and keeping him close, almost seeming like he’s never letting go. 

wooyoung’s lips almost tasted real until san realized it wasn’t. before he knew it, he was back into watching wooyoung, trying to remember a memory he never even had. he’s long forgotten what wooyoung’s lips had tasted, the feeling of them on his already too unfamiliar. his skin feels empty without wooyoung’s warmest touch, as if he’s actually known it before. he’s already forgotten how wooyoung looked when he’s inlove, when he looks at san in a way different from how he looks at him right now, with his head still resting on san’s lap and chest breathing heavily, humming the same tune. 

san almost gives in, almost kisses wooyoung the way he wanted to but he doesn’t. he lets wooyoung continue to sing, feeling the ache pooling in his heart ever so painfully. he swallows back the urge to press his lips against wooyoung’s and all the feelings that threatened to claw out of his throat. 

he lets them sit on his stomach, hides them in a corner of his heart he’d never let wooyoung see. though they feel like needles threading against the walls of his chest, _this is enough._ the image of wooyoung’s exhausted yet passionate eyes hidden behind his damp fringe and the memory of how san’s compliments always seem to light his face up are scenes his eyes would never forget. he doesn’t dare ask for more. 

when wooyoung’s song came to an end, he smiles at san but he doesn’t kiss wooyoung; he buries it in the back of his head— the memory of _what could have been,_ for that is all it could ever be. in the end, maybe loving wooyoung meant keeping him close but never close enough, watching him smile but never closing in for a kiss. san has learned that maybe loving wooyoung meant having nothing more than this. maybe this was all there is to love— a thousand unspoken feelings and one, lonely heart.  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> its been a long time since i last wrote a fic lmao, ily thank you for reading <3 
> 
> hmu [@svnnysvnwoo_](https://mobile.twitter.com/svnnysvnwoo_)


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